What are the few things in life tht make me happy? Honestly, i cant really think about counting them all, it would sound too cliche to say, ¨because theres too many¨. Seriously, i cant afford to lie in this blog, its suppoused to be about me, about the real me! Im not planing on displaying a fiction character who loves EVERYTHING in life and around him. The main character in this blog is not one whose life glows in radiant colors, it is ones whose past shines in oppaque shades! Not to be pessimistic, im not like that at all (most times), but the only bright colors that shimmer around me, usually touch after the dark shades dissappear. I dont like being happy after i was so sad, i feel like im betraying that event which made me gloom... is that wierd to want to feel sad when your happy? Other times, when im sad i rather feel happy and just forget the downess. My life is full dual opinions, they just keep contradicting each other.
Many times however, (and most reccently) im getting over the darker times in my life, and accepting the better history and present that im walking through, i cant explain why i still fear the past. Perhaps i fear it will come and hunt me in the future, is that wrong or pessimistic?
hmm...
man! here i am talking about my fears and sadness when i know you dont want to read about some sad pessimistic character!
Or do you? In my case i love reading of ppl who went through hell and felt alone and depressed, but then they live happily ever after...kinda courny? I dont think so, i think one should be able to forget the past and live their future lives not fearing or regreting your history: ironic, isnt it? i love books that end well, but why do i keep on unintentionally looking for a bad ending in mine?
I heard that when one has a problem of addiction, realization is the 1st step to recovery, admitting your addiction waves help to get better. Am i addicted to feeling pessimistic?
If so, i believe im getting better, sh#t stopped happening to me, and wow i think im free to ....
u kno...
exactly!!!!
live happily, at last!
PS]: feel free to comment and analyze some of those questions in my writting:)
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4 comentarios:
Life is a contradiction itself, and I, based on what I read, consider myself very fond to your opinions and thoughts, having experienced some of them myself.
Life is what it is and we are what we are: a contradiction... it's hard to ask yourself "what makes me really happy?" because even though, somewhere deep down, or superficially, we want to be happy we're also addicted to that "pain" it's the safety net...because things really can't get worse, right? people would rather feel guilty with the past than look into the future...but the past is dead, the present is fading and the future.
Wait! what future?
I feel awfully dark today... but that's not the point. I forgot my initial point,actually, but here's another one: it's not what makes you happy that helps you get away from the bad part of pain(trust me, i know), it's what makes you laugh and smile.
And writing often helps!
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